What brought you HERE?

Continuing the focus on our life stories, in this episode I explore another powerful question that can help you gain useful insights about your own life experiences and the experiences of others. What brought you HERE, can help you understand better the choices you and others made in arriving HERE. Enjoy!

Transcript

Welcome to the second episode of the powerful questions podcast. My name is David Shaked. In this episode, we will take a look at another type of question. I call this type: “What brought you here?” – I chose to introduce this question in this episode because it builds well on what I covered in the previous episode. In particular, it is another way to tap into your and other people’s meaningful stories.   This kind of question – what brought you here – is great for self-reflection or as a way to get to know another person. It can also be used very well as part of facilitating or hosting small group conversations. 

Firstly, let’s take a closer look at what I mean when I say what brought you here. In this case, HERE can mean a lot of things:

Of course, the most obvious is your current physical location, the building you reside in, the city you live in or the country it is a part of.  Were you born & raised there or did you arrive from somewhere else? What is the background story? What events and choices led you to being here, in this building, this city, this country? What choices did you not make, as part of being here?

But HERE in the” what brought you here” type of questions, can mean other things as well…

It can refer to your work – the role you are fulfilling, your business, your professional activities, the organisation you are a part of – as in how did you end up doing what you are doing? How did you choose it? Who influenced your choice? Who inspired you? How?  What were the stages of development along the way? What other jobs preceded this one?

It can refer to the topics you specialise in, those you have studied, acquired professional skills, qualifications and experience in, or even your hobbies and leisure activities – for example, how did you become a chartered accountant, or a coach, or an amateur photographer?

And here can refer to the significant relationships in your life. Are you in a relationship at the moment or are you single? The “what brought you here?” type of question can mean: 

How did you meet your significant other if you have one and how has the relationship evolved?

Or what about the friends you like to stay connected to or spend time with, the groups you are a part of – how did you meet or make these friends?  how were these connections made? How have these friendships and connections developed since they started?

However young or inexperienced you may be, you have probably already made choices and experienced important defining moments that make you who you are. You, and perhaps others around you, have made some key decisions in getting HERE.  People or events may have influenced you along that journey. Some may have even helped when help was needed.

And, if you want to look at the journey of arriving HERE in more detail, as if you were looking at it through a magnifying glass, you can even notice specific experiences that have shaped you along the way. You have evolved and developed over time, experienced high moments and low moments, faced and overcame challenges, life twists and turns gave you a surprise or two, other people may have been involved in the journey or helped you…. 

You see, a simple question such as “What brought you here?” can easily expand to a much more interesting and rich story of a life journey or of significant choices, and that’s exactly what is interesting about it. These are the components you might want to take a closer look at when it comes to you and what shaped you, and they are also the significant parts in the lives of the people you meet every day or those who are involved in your personal or professional life.  A simple statement such as “I am from London” can develop into a plethora of interesting stories and a treasure trove of wisdom.

Now, some of us are happy with where we are – where we live, what we do, the people that play a big part of our lives.  But it is also possible that some of us are not happy with all of that – with what I can refer to as the “here and now” of our lives. Whatever the situation may be, reflecting on these questions, understanding better what brought us here, what we learnt along the way, how we made the choices we have, shedding light on the moments that helped shape this HERE for us, can be very powerful.  When we understand better the chain of events that brought us HERE, we know more about ourselves, as well as others. These insights can be super-useful.

Asking others what brought them HERE can be also incredibly powerful – to them, to you, the person who is asking – and anyone who might be listening.  It can, and probably will, help establish a deeper connection between you. The insights that emerge from telling or listening to the back story can be so valuable. If nothing else happens, you would still find that you’ve spent some quality time with another person having a conversation that is truly valuable and making a meaningful connection. 

How and when might you ask this type question? Firstly, like any other question in my menu of powerful questions, it is always good to hold an “attitude of inquiry” which consists of real curiosity, openness, willingness to be surprised and enlightened, and to let go of any preconceptions or any notion that “I already know the answer”. More specifically, for this type of “what brought you here?” question, be aware that there is likely to be a good story behind the HERE. If you are asking this question of someone, do it with a sense that their story is worth your time and attention! Whether you are truly interested or not will come across very clearly. 

Also be aware that the response could generate an emotional reaction. There may be surprise, joy or pride in the story of arriving HERE, but there could also be an expression of sadness, loss or disappointment. I never know what reaction I might get because I truly don’t know what story might be shared, but I prepare myself to welcome and hold the time and space for any or all reactions, emotions or responses. As an inquirer posing this question, I hold on to a belief that there is value in every story, and that I am privileged if someone chooses to share it with me. That choice is significant, even if you might not see that way right at the start of the conversation. 

As I come to the end of this episode, I am of course aware that you have travelled the journey of this episode with me, and we have arrived at this point together. What brought you HERE, to this podcast, and all the way through this episode? What did you learn or appreciate from everything I covered? What made you stick with me rather than engage with something else? 

And now that you know more about this type of question, what is important for you to remember & honour in arriving to the HERE of your life? What does that tell you about yourself? What can you create or achieve with this powerful question? 

I hope you enjoyed arriving HERE with me!