What is important to you?

This episode takes a deep dive into a powerful question some of us have asked ourselves before – “what is important to me?”

Whether you have asked yourself this question before or not, this episode can help you consider and reflect on it with fresh eyes. I hope you will see how much further this question can go and how it can help you in your life and in your work. It is also an equally powerful question you can pose to others around you. Enjoy!  

Transcript

Welcome to the fifth episode of the Powerful Questions podcast. My name is David Shaked and in this episode, I’d like to explore with you a powerful question many of us have asked ourselves before but hopefully introduce some fresh insights around it. The question this time is “What is important to you?”

Of course, this question can be asked in many different ways and it can create very powerful clarity in areas where it might be lacking.

Let’s start with a general view – what is actually important to you in your life and work? 

What is truly important to you – to have in your work or life? To experience? To live by?  What are your values? 

How well do you know the answers to these questions? Reflecting on this question can help you understand your values in life.  It is most likely that in adopting certain values you were influenced by your parents, other significant people in your life or defining moments you experienced along the way. 

When our lives or our work are not aligned with our values, we feel it – initially as a slight discomfort or confusion but the longer such misalignment persist, the stronger the discomfort gets until we are urged to do something.  

Knowing what truly matters to you can be very powerful because once you know your values, you can proactively take steps to adjust your work or your life so that they are more aligned with those values. In my life, each time I realised I needed to make such an adjustment I benefited from it immensely, even when taking the actual steps that were necessary, wasn’t easy.  

There are different ways to find your guiding values, but even if you invest some time in reflecting on the question “what is important to you?”, you will be able to identify them.  

Let me offer you another way of posing this question. It’s not necessarily the best use of our language but I am told it is perfectly acceptable to take this approach. This alternative way of asking “what is important to you” is by using double negatives.  I personally do not use this approach very often but I know it can work really well for some people. Essentially, you can get to what is important to you or to others by asking: “What can’t you not have?”, “What can’t you not be?” or “What can’t you not do?”  The advantage of using the double negative is that it makes you stop to figure out the real meaning of the question.

And this question doesn’t stop there… It can be used to bring clarity in other areas. For example, when you work with others – team members, colleagues, clients, bosses or larger groups, and communities. Knowing what is important to you in each one of these different relationships or projects can help you stand firmly on both feet and be able to influence how work is done and how conversations are held. It can also help you raise your impact on others.  You could refine the question “What is important to you?” to fit the specific context or relationship. 

For example, by asking “what will you stand for in your team?”,  “What will you not accept from clients or bosses?” or “What would you be willing to campaign for in your community?” And so on. 

The clearer you are about what is important to you in general and in a specific situation, the stronger and more stable your position will be. You will know your boundaries and you will also know what you can be flexible about to accommodate what is important to others.  

And as we brought the other people in your work or life into the picture – especially those you work, live or play with, how well do you know what is important to them? You can of course ask some of them. In fact, if you did so in the right moment and with a good level of curiosity, it could deepen your relationship with them. If you later demonstrate that you listened and respected what you understood to be important to them, it would further deepen that relationship.  

But in some situations, you might not be able to ask people this question directly. In such cases, you can still listen to the people involved more deeply or observe them over time to gain insight about what matters to them. Reflecting on times they were particularly appreciative about something you said or did, as well as on other moments that perhaps triggered them negatively, could give you very important clues.

The question of “What is important to you?” can also be applied to other parts of your work. It might be worth your while, when starting a new project or assignment, to think about what is important to you to create or achieve in that project. You can also reflect on this question when you are about to enter into a meeting or start an important conversation with someone – what is important for you to have, experience or create in that meeting or conversation? Knowing the answer could help you navigate the conversation better and also assess how well it went when it is over. 

Another aspect of this question, which is equally powerful, is gaining insight into what you value in other people, and in the life or work experiences you share with them. Think of the last project you worked on – what did you value about it? Of all the things you did as part of that project, what stands out as most meaningful or memorable to you? 

You can also choose any of the important relationships you have at work or in life: Your significant other, if you have one, your closest team members, your friends, your family members etcetera – what do you value about them and how do they make your life better, more fulfilling, more rewarding? 

I’d like to offer you a final perspective on this question in relation to the future. So far in this episode, I have spoken mostly about the present and a little about the past, but the question of “what is important to you?” can also be meaningful when reflecting on the future.  

Regardless of what stage you are currently at in your life journey or where your life or work will take you, what is important for you to have in the future? 

What is important for you to experience? 

What is important for you to be able to share with others? 

These questions are super important in times of transition – whether you are graduating from studies and thinking of your career path, or perhaps changing an already established career. Even at the moment you decide you are ready to commit to a relationship, to start a family, to retire.   And finally, what is important for you to leave behind as a legacy, a contribution or an impact on others? 

I know these questions are deep and take time to reflect upon. Your answers could also change over time, but the clearer you are about what is important to you for your future, the easier it will become to take decisions and make choices at key points in your life journey.

As always, a simple question can be considered in many different ways. It can be used creatively in different areas of your life, and it can help in creating clarity or deeper meaning in so many ways. I hope you have found some important insights for yourself in this episode. It would be deeply meaningful to me to hear how you’ve used this question and what impact it has had.