How might you...? (The magic of might)

This episode explores the truly magical word MIGHT and how to use it in your powerful questions.  Using 'might' in questions open up so many possibilities and can remove blocks for progress.  Enjoy!

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the third episode in the second season of the powerful questions podcast. My name is David Shaked. In this episode, we’re going to create some magic together – This time, it is a particular magic - the magic of “might”…. What do you think about that?

Before we go any further into magical practices, I find the word might itself fascinating.  It wraps together two very different meanings and creates something special. On the one hand, might means power or strength – for example, we could say “he hit the ball with all his might” or “a mighty Jumbo Jet”. On the other hand, it also means a sense of possibility, for example: “if you look in the cupboard, you might find some cookies” or “if you train well in advance, you might be able to run a marathon”. The more I think about it, the more I like this interesting combination of power and possibility – all in one word. How does that sound to you?

The reason I like to integrate the word might into my questions to make them super powerful, is because that truly creates a feeling of having many possibilities for the person being asked such a question. It is also very versatile – you can craft so many different and powerful questions that integrate the word might – questions that could help you unlock all sorts of possibilities. You can also use it to help others, individuals or groups, explore what is possible for them or how they could move forward when they feel stuck. There is something quite disarming and liberating, yet powerful in asking myself:

“how might I create an interesting podcast episode?” 

rather than 

“How am I going to make this episode interesting?”  

The first question helps open up my mind. It inspires my creativity and resourcefulness. The second question stresses me out right from the start because it sets an expectation or a requirement, up front.  

Using "might" in our questions creates a different psychological impact on us:

• It removes the sometimes threatening or stressful nature of direct questions by creating psychological safety. When someone asks you "What will you do?" the question holds in itself a demand or an expectation for a concrete answer and action. But "What might you do?" invites you to explore possibilities with a sense of openness.
   
   
• The word "might" gives permission to be wrong or uncertain. When you, or other people, feel stuck or afraid of making mistakes, using “might” is liberating. This can be especially powerful in times of uncertainty.
   
   
• "Might" questions engage the more imaginative parts of our brain rather than the analytical part. They help us bypass our inner critic and help activate our creative potential.  That means that they can also help overcome situations of "analysis paralysis" because they suggest that we're just exploring options – we’re not committing to them yet.

Beyond their positive impact on our psyche, “might” questions can be used for so many different needs. Firstly, let’s focus on how you might use them on yourself (by the way, did you see how I already sneaked in the word?).  

You could use “might-type” questions for self-reflection, personal growth, problem-solving, or for envisioning the future. Here are some “might” questions for self-reflection:

• "What might be holding me back?" – this is a question that invites gentle self-examination instead of harsh self-judgment.  A stronger version of it is: “What might help me move forward?” It is stronger because it shifts our focus to moving forward rather than on being held back. 
• "How might I see this situation differently?" encourages us to shift our perspective and open up emotionally.
• "What might I learn from this experience?" transforms challenges into growth opportunities.
• "What might I be grateful for in the future if I take this action?" can encourage us to take actions in the present to potentially achieve future positive outcomes.
• "How might my life be enriched if I faced this fear?" can help reframe our fears into potential personal development. 

"Might" questions can also help expand our thinking when we try to solve problems:

• "What might be another way?" can help us break out of binary right/wrong, yes/no thinking around possible choices.
• "How might I turn this obstacle into an opportunity?" helps us reframe something that we initially perceive as an issue into a potential opportunity. 
• "How might I make this situation easier?" is also helpful when facing a big challenge. It helps shift our attention to finding solutions and potential ways to move forward more easily, rather than focusing on the difficulties.
• "What might happen if...?" encourages us to explore different consequences or outcomes without commitment to any choice, at least not just yet.
• "How might someone else approach this?" invites us to consider different perspectives. You can even focus the question by naming a person you find inspiring or creative. For example, “how might my friend Bill approach this?”
• And if you are struggling with relationship problems, it is always a good idea to reflect on what might it look and feel like from the other side. A useful question in that case is: “how might they be feeling right now?"

You could use “might” questions to help you creatively imagine and create future possibilities. For example:

• "What might success look like or feel like?" inspires us to imagine desired images of the future as well as creates emotional connection to your goals. Once you have set up a goal, you might want to reflect on: "what might make this goal more exciting for me and others?"
• "What might be possible if I had unlimited time or money?" or “what might I do, if I didn’t care about what people thought?” can enable us to think more boldly. 
• "How might this decision affect my life in 5 years?" encourages us to consider the long-term implication of our present choices. 
• "What might I create if I knew I couldn't fail?" removes the fear of failure from the equation.
• And finally, if you find yourself with many options to decide between, you could use:  "What might I need to know to decide?" as a way to support your decision-making.
   
   
   

As you can see, there are many ways to use "might" in questions and I am sure you can come up with your own ideas after listening to this episode.  What I’d like to cover next is when these questions can be particularly useful and in what situations I would avoid them.  

So, for example, “might” questions can be useful when someone feels stuck or overwhelmed because they reduce pressure to commit to any specific step just yet. Instead, they enable creativity, brainstorming and exploration of possibilities. They can also help in emotional situations where direct questions could feel threatening. “Might” questions simply reduce the pressure other questions create. 

And yet, “might" questions are less effective when immediate action or specific information are needed. For example: "what might we do about this fire?" isn't as helpful as “where is the fire extinguisher?”  In addition, when someone or something needs grounding in reality, rather than an exploration of possibilities, a might-type question is less useful. 

Let’s have short break here before we explore more deeply the magic and possibilities of using the word might in our powerful questions. 

How do you feel now about using these kinds of “might” questions? I feel excited with so many powerful ways to integrate the word might in questions! I hope you do too. 

Using “might” in our questions can help us support others, especially people we work with or lead. Here are some ideas on to how use it in different contexts:

• You could use it when coaching someone. For example: "How might you approach this differently?". That would empower your coachee to find their own ways to overcome a challenge or generate alternative solutions. If they already have some ideas but struggle to get going with them, you could ask them: "What might be a tiny first step forward?"
• When leading groups of people, you could ask: "What might we achieve together?". This can inspire the creation of a collective and energising vision.
• If you’re trying to unlock innovation in your team, try asking: "How might we solve this in an entirely new way?". That could trigger some exciting creative thinking.
• If you find yourself in a conflict situation or facilitating others through their own conflict, asking: "What might a win-win solution look like?" opens new possibilities and could potentially reduce tensions and calm intense emotions. 
• And finally, a nice way to help a team develop and combine their diverse strengths is to ask: "How might we leverage everyone's strengths?". This promotes inclusion as well as the appreciation of everyone’s strengths. 

And yet, if you are using “might” questions with others, I would suggest avoiding some common pitfalls such as:

• Using might as part of a leading question that leads to your preferred answer. For example: “how might you start working with client X?”  when the other person is keen on working with a different client. 
• Don't rush to problem-solve when someone is exploring possibilities, and don’t dismiss any possibilities they raise that seem unrealistic to you.  
• And finally, “might” questions are super helpful to explore possibilities – but don't let them become a way to avoid action indefinitely. At some point, possibilities need to be assessed and prioritised so that they can lead to action. 

You see, “might” can be such a powerful and versatile ingredient in generative questions and, like any powerful question, it works best within certain boundaries.  

Now let’s explore how to frame "might" questions so that they can have the most powerful impact:

• Firstly, keep your questions simple. Quite frankly, that is a good tip for all powerful questions!  The simpler they are, the more powerful they can be, which also applies to “might” questions.  Focus on one idea per question. Instead of asking "what might you do and how might it affect others?" break it into two separate questions and allow time for each.  Sometimes responding to the first question covers most of the ground for the second question. It’s never a good idea to rapid-fire multiple "might" questions. Give each one its proper space.
   
   
• Start with a broad question and then narrow down the focus. What I mean by that is starting with wide-open questions like "What might be possible?" before focusing on more specific questions like "How might you take the first step?"
   
   
   
• Pay attention to the time you have available and whether or not the person you are posing the question to is in the right frame of mind to engage with it.  Asking a big question such as "what might your ideal life look like?" can overwhelm someone in crisis. Start with gentler questions like "What might help you right now?"
   
   
• And finally, when using powerful questions, I always suggest you begin to value and use moments of silence.  Silence after posing a powerful question can be a very valuable and useful addition to the question itself, because it creates space for the other person to make sense of the question and to ponder.  This of course applies to “might”-type questions.  

Now, because might questions help people explore possibilities, it would really support them if you practised your deep-listening skills.  Firstly, listen for any energy shifts in their responses – what ideas light the people you’re working with up? 

It is also helpful to pay attention to any hesitation, resistance or limiting beliefs that might be hiding in some responses.  I leave it up to you whether or not you would like to inquire into the resistance. Some coaches feel very strongly about that. Personally, I prefer to inquire into the ideas that seemed to light people up.  Remember my question from episode 21?  You can always add "tell me more" when some ideas with a bit of energy or possibility in them present themselves.  Of course, you can follow up using another “might” question, such as: "what might you need to make that happen?" or "what might be a small step or an experiment you can try?"

You see how magical might questions can be?  I am sure you are keen to try one or few of them now.  You might even want to try sticking with the same kind of “might” question for a few days and journaling the responses. For example, why not try responding to “what might be possible for me to achieve today?” in your journal each morning for one week?

Did my excitement about the magical possibilities of “might” questions inspire you?  What might